Elf Ears For Thee?

pic courtesy of Geekologie.com
Calling all inhabitants of Middle-Earth aka "your mom's basement." You too can now look like a mystical and majestic elf, without the spendy surgery or stifled laughter of plastic surgeons! Here is how!
1. Find a pair of scissors. The sharper the better. Your sword may be a bit too wide.
2 Clean them shits real good-like.
3. Ask yourself, "Do I really want elf ears?" Because it is kinda, well, you know ... PERMANENT.
4. Cut a triangular chunk out of your upper ear. This would be a good point for your vampire boyfriend to come make out.
5. Sterilize a needle with a torch, or lighter, thread with fishing line, and sew your ear back together in the desired shape.
6. Put some tape around your ear to hold it together and prevent strain on the stitches.
7. Go to the nearest Renaissance Festival and show those glorius ears off, elfy!